At first I thought about keeping my history to myself but then I realized there’s nothing to be ashamed of. My history is a big part of what I am, today. When I look back at my past now, I realize that it only made me stronger. I had a hard time settling into India,on the first day of school people had started judging me without even knowing me.They set me as a target because I was too innocent and afraid to stand up for myself. As the years gradually passed by, it became worse. When I think of flashbacks from my past, the first thing that comes is that people had started calling me “phage”, which was a made up disease so that no one touches me. Imagine being untouchable. I hated going to school, all I did was cry in the bathroom. I’d look at myself in the mirror and ask myself “Why am I so ugly”? “Why did God make me so dumb”? Along with all my confidence, my studies went down the drain. I remember camp in year 9, two people had a huge misunderstanding about me. One of the girls called me outside the bathroom, i went outside and it was completely dark. These two girls started abusing me in front of everyone, the teachers just stood and stared and so did the other students. They yelled out hurtful things such as “dumb”, “ugly”, “go kills yourself, no one would even care”. I was all alone and everyone was just watching and listening. I began to shiver because of all the pressure and later then, started hyperventilating for the first time. Ever since, this incident has a scar on me. As I had no friends in school, I started trying to find happiness elsewhere. I got attracted to bad influences and became a rebel, which led to further consequences. My parents and I had started fighting very often. Which led to further insecurities within me. One day, my father got extremely annoyed and stopped my outings. I then realised that I’m wasting my time going out with people who don’t even care about me. It was that moment, I became aware of the stupid decisions I’ve been making. People had stopped bullying me when I started standing up for myself, making them aware that I’m not as weak as they think I am. I’ve always been the “odd one out”, but standing out of the crowd isn’t bad, if anything, it puts you in the spotlight.
If you ever look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself “why am I like this”?, it’s because you’re beautiful. Please never feel afraid to contact me, if you have any questions whatsoever. I’m always available.
Find out more at my website.
0
0
0
0