Today, much of the media is covering the admission by singer Adele that she had postnatal depression with her son and is too scared to have another baby because of the fear of being unwell again.

It is so sad that many parents feel this. Yes, fathers can have antenatal or postnatal (perinatal) mental illnesses too. It is understandable why they have this fear. Generally in life we avoid situations that cause us pain. Yet if the months of pregnancy and early parenthood have resulted in anxiety, depression or even psychosis, it follows that you would make steps to avoid it again.

I spiralled through different levels of mental anguish after the birth of my son, having never been mentally ill before. I was ashamed and hid my feelings for fear of being judged. By not being honest I now realise that I contributed to my illness.

As Adele comments, it was actually talking to other mums that helped her in the end. Although much more awareness is now out there to reduce the stigma of mental illness, there is more to be done.

Through sharing my story in ‘Eyes without Sparkle – a journey through postnatal illness’, I resigned my teaching career and have spent the last 11 years speaking, writing and raising awareness of perinatal mental illness. Over the years many people asked me what should they do if they were too scared to have another baby – or became unexpectedly pregnant again. Using the knowledge I have acquired over the years, a survey of parents plus contributions from healthcare professionals, ‘Another Twinkle in the Eye – contemplating another pregnancy after perinatal mental illness’, was published last year.

I am not suggesting that everyone should have another child. What I wanted to do was guide parents and professionals to some of the aspects to consider; conversations to be had and possible plans to be made should they wish to proceed. It is a unique decision. I want people to be a peace with their decision.

I am told that my first book has helped to save lives by giving people hope. I am now informed that my second book is helping people. They may choose not to have another baby and be content with the decision. I am also now aware of pregnancies and new babies that have been helped due to the information it gives.

I was honoured that the British Medical Association shortlisted it as their Popular Medicine Book of the Year and highly commended it for outstanding contribution to medical literature.

Who do you know that is struggling with the dilemma? Perhaps this post may help them?

I applaud that Adele has admitted to her struggles. It is a way that the media then highlight the issues. Today I have spoken globally on the BBC World Service Outsource  about it. The live link is here. I shall post the link when I receive it.

Elaine